Insomnia’s a Bitch

Ever since I can remember, I have had really bad problems with sleeping. I’m not just talking about finding it a bit difficult to get to sleep – I mean full-blown insomnia.

Insomnia, if you aren’t aware, is a sleeping disorder. It can present itself in various different forms – finding it extremely hard to get to sleep, struggling to keep asleep once you finally get there, or a combination of both.

Personally, I usually don’t have too many problems drifting off. My issue is actually managing to stay knocked out for any decent amount of time. On an average night, I wake up on several dozen occasions. I cannot remember a single night in my life where I have slept right through completely uninterrupted. When it gets really bad, I can end up being awake for hours on end. This tends to happen when my anxiety levels are really high. The worst that I’ve probably ever had it is when I’ve not been able to sleep at all. Zero. Hours. Sleep. On one occasion I didn’t sleep a single wink for 3 days. You can only imagine how incredibly dreadful I felt (and looked!).

For me, one of the things that I find rather irritating is when people try to offer “helpful” suggestions. “Oh have you tried reading before bed?” Or “Have you tried not being on your phone before bed?” I get that this advice is coming from a good place, but please… Just no. I’ve suffered with this condition for my entire life. I’m not just “a bit tired”. I haven’t slept properly in 28 years. Shoving a piece of lavender under my pillow or drinking Night Nurse is not going to solve my issues. And trust me, I know… I’ve tried everything already!

As well as finding unsolicited advice to be an irritant, my good friend Insomnia makes me look like “a corpse that’s been dead ten years” – an actual quote from someone about the bags under my eyes. My eye bags are big enough to fit in a giddy teenager’s Primark haul. I have tried all the usual tricks – cucumber on the eyes, wearing eye gels, etc. There’s just not a lot that can be done to prevent my facial monstrosities when I’m getting less sleep than a mother of a newborn baby on most nights. And no, I refuse to wear foundation every day to cover them up. I don’t like putting foundation on my skin and I’m also just far too lazy to do that every day.

So that’s my experience with insomnia. Do you have any sleeping disorders? Have you been given any particularly annoying or bizarre advice? Let me know!

Mrs Helfy



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